Searches of the week, 1.22

Goethe on Google: How did HE get THERE?

Eckermann, one of the first celebrity stalkers, tells how the great Goethe, riding along one day, ordered the coach to stop and got out by a large, interesting rock. Slowly he approached it, and asked the rock ruminatively: “Well! How did you get here?”

I long to ask that of all those visitors washed up, like jellyfish of genius, on this website’s hospitable strands. What led you here? What were you looking for, and did you find it?   Fortunately, WordPress allows some answers. It regularly tabulates the Googlings that brought people to your pages.

This week, I take pleasure in the number of searchers who I think got pretty much exactly what they were searching for.  It’s a tribute — so I flatter myself — to the diversity of offerings I’ve got here, and the diversity of desires a single blog can satisfy. Thus there’s pro government demonstrations hungary, and greek government spending, and backlash in ghana anti-gay, and more protests held in kano as labour calls off strike,  and food production map 2011, and mugabe and tsvangirai.     I truly hope you were all contented customers. There’s also iran shitting down internet and communications, which frankly is even more poetic than what I had on offer. I hope I was even able to give a flash of insight to the needy soul seeking dirty turkish man in a thong.

Others, though, leave me confused — either about what they wanted, or about how it got them here. In the second category are:

mobile phones sold in nigeria in the 4th quarter of 2011

looking for hostel parents job in boarding school in nigeria primary secondary school

Nigeria is a theme. Then there’s

is virginity a crucial criterion for marriage

symptoms of being horny for women (if you have to ask, you are spending too much time online)

forced anal torture 2 (what happened to 1?)

astonishing anal

anal sex egypt

romania dog murder

I have to say that rape in the house of big brother! sounds great, like an Agatha Christie, but why here? Why here? Then there’s:

hijra private parts

This hijra thing happens weekly. There are no hijra private parts here. I think you are rude, and far too curious for your own good.

I like the simplicity of:

define incarcerated

I also love the plangency of:

the third world at night (1963)  

But why 1963?  Was there a curfew after that?

Finally, the week’s two winners. The runner-up gets it simply out of sympathy: that poor person came to A Paper Bird, and didn’t get anything useful for whatever their weird needs are:

data charts on bubble gum sales in the u.s and worldwide

But what I can I possibly say about:

blondie dagwood lesbian pictures

what you need to make me happy, dear, are some hijra private parts

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